SLIDER

Generation Gap

I needed a new discman. (I shouldn't have to include a link to explain the definition of discman, but apparently that's now become necessary for some.)  I had a Target gift card from Christmas and figured I would put it to good use and get the new player with that.  Yay, me.
So I'm browsing in electronics when a kid who, for all intent and purpose, is still in puberty - says to me "Are you finding everything okay, Ma'am?"

'Ma'am?'
'MA'AM?'
'MA'AM?'
Oh hell, no.  I am not a "ma'am."  When I pop out a few kids, that's right you better be calling me "Ma'am," but until then, if you need to address me, you can do so as "Miss," as in, "Can I help you, Miss?"
Got it?
(There are a few times when it's appropriate to address a woman as "ma'am."  For instance, is she shopping with multiple children and isn't a teen mom?  Go ahead.  Is she with her husband?  Is she with her adult children and/or grandchildren?  Carry on!  But basically, the rule is this: a woman by herself - err on the side of caution and just address her as "Miss.")
And of course he said it in one of those voices.  You know the voice - the voice you use when you take pity on someone elderly who clearly has no idea what the hell is going on.
I AM NOT THE ELDERLY!!!
I'm only 31 for crying out loud.

But oh...it gets better.

So I said to the kid (who was probably 16 or 17 and therefore to him I am the Crypt Keeper, except he's too young to know who the Crypt Keeper is....) "I just need to get a new discman."
Enter the furrowed brow and puzzled look.
"Um, what is that?"
......Blank stare......
"Is that like a walking cd player?"
Oh Lord.
"Yes, that's exactly it."
"Oh, good.  Yeah.  I think we might have one of those over here....."

So after I grabbed my clunker from the stone age when music still had to be played on a disc (what is this inew ifangled iwitchery everyone keeps talking about?  It'll never catch on, I tell ya!) and dragged my ancient ass out of there to apparently go draw on the walls of my cave.

Yes, there comes a time when you realize that society considers you old.  Well, I've definitely hit the mark.  Ladies and gentlemen, apparently I am now officially O.L.D.

1 comment

  1. This made me laugh and again, I feel the same! I get called ma'am all the time (though I have kids, but STILL, I am not OLD!) and Pete got me a CD for Christmas. You are not alone! :)

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