Shout-out to Hayley at
Hsaysblog whose
post inspired me to write this one.
.........................................................................................
1.) I
need girlfriends.
As adults I think it's far too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of working full-time, being a wife, mother, (or whatever your familial obligations), trying to be socially and politically conscious, responsible, all the things. Additionally, it is
way too easy for
us me to isolate. I am an isolator. (And ironically, so are most of my closest friends.) (Side note: the more I open up about my isolationist tendencies, the more I hear "me too!", so I kind of assume this is widespread thing.)
Anyway....I made a good friend at work, whom I'm going to call *Angela. Well, Angela and I try to get together on the regular - usually just for coffee and often, not even that - just chatting and walking around places. But my friendship with her has offered me the chance to gab about non-important girly things - the cute guy at work, the creepy guy at work, boys we'd like to lick like cheese off of a cracker, (
Daniel Radcliffe) hair color, youtube videos, etc. Girl time prevents me from going 'round the bend.
Note: my other girlfriends *Melody, *Marie, and *Rose all keep me from going crazy in major ways, it was just hanging with Angela made me realize the extent to which it is important to my sanity.
2.) I am allowed to be upset.
(Dude, I
know.) It's so obvious. Like, frickin' duh. But (for various reasons) anger is a difficult emotion for me both to be around in others and also to have. I'm not going to explain here, because - wow - we'd be here all day. But only in the past eight months or so have I come to truly understand that anger can be ok, that not all anger is somehow my fault, not all bad moods have something to do with me, and it is ok for me to feel angry, hurt, or sad - and what's more - to express that. (Dude, I KNOW it's obvious, but for me, this is a major thing.)
3.) Sensory Overload
My work is a noisy place. We have the noise from the chopping and cutting. Music playing overhead. Fryer alarms are going off. The phone is ringing. Servers are chattering and calling out things. The expo person is hollering for food runners and needing more cheese sticks. A cook is pissed off and throwing things around. Another is arguing with someone. The dish machine is running and the dishwasher is rushing to stack plates. Someone else is talking nonstop. A random person is singing a random song. The meat cutter turns on his playlist of thrash metal, the exhaust fans are blowing full power - it's too much. It's all just too much. I want to hide, I want to pull a hat down over my eyes and ears. It's all coming in - too much at once and I feel like I am being attacked. I am a cornered animal and ready to lash out. There is just too much. I need to isolate myself not so much emotionally, but physically. I need to get away from the crazy and have quiet and alone time. I know this is a bit introvert-y, and I am an introvert, but this is a visceral reaction that has physical consequences and it's important for me to tend to that need.
What kinds of things did you learn about yourself over the past year? Anything you're seeking to learn about yourself?
